"The Junior Prom" or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love The Bomb

So. This story of woe begins with me submitting jokes to Weekend Update and ends with me building a Radio Flyer wagon for a 1-year-old girl. Come with me on this journey!

I submitted five jokes this week to Weekend Update. What they are, well, aren't important. Let's just say that some of them were funny and most of them weren't.

One joke was written, "More than 200 people in Wisconsin attended a symbolic funeral at a local cemetery to lay to rest the 'N-Word.' While the ceremony was somber, some found the eulogy a bit awkward."

Now, it's not a great joke, but a couple people liked it. My friend Alex liked it, so did a couple others.

Apparently, so did the writers for Weekend Update. They picked it up for run-through. Now, before I say anything about how bad this whole story turned out, let me say that being picked for run-through is an honor. There are literally hundreds of jokes written and about just as many submitted by interns, staffers, and contacts. Being chosen as part of about 30 is really something special.

Okay. Back to the subject.

The run-through was itself a bit awkward and the final word was changed from "some found the eulogy a bit awkward" to "some found the eulogy a bit uncomfortable." An understandable change.

Cool. At 8:00, I'm still on the bill and I'm on dress.

Before dress starts, I was asked to put together a Radio Flyer wagon for one of the staff's kid's birthday. I do so because, hey, there's not much else to do. All the while, I'm playing with wrenches and screwdrivers and watching the show.

Dress goes decent for most of it. A couple jokes get big laughs, some get small laughs. At this point, I'm banking on the fact that the smaller laughs might get my joke grandfathered into a spot on air in front of America.

Okay.

As the wagon's near completion. Let's say that's it's not quite a "wagon" yet, but someone would recognize it as approaching some form of red box with wheels. Anyway, my joke gets on.

Now, before I tell you what happens here, I want you to know that I'm not exaggerating. One of the writers said, and I'm quoting directly, that "I've never seen anything like that before."

Seth tells the joke.

Nothing.

Not a little.

There existed a vacuum into which all existence and hope fell.

Like a motherfucking Sprint commercial, you could hear a pin drop.

Seth stared. And, eventually, the audience laughed at the awkwardness of thewhole situation. Seth laughed. Amy sung, "Dress rehersal!" Seth said, "That's a joke your friends won't see." That got a big laugh. And then Amy said, off camera, "Sorry, Drucker!"

And I finished the Radio Flyer wagon. I gave it to the staffer who was setting everything up. I was thanked. I felt a bit numb.

And then I found it hilarious. Everyone who worked on the show gave it their all and, ultimately, a joke I wrote about how honestly uncomfortable the "n-word" is, wasn't ready for the majors. They called me up to pitch an inning and I hit the catcher in the head.

I'm a bit unsure of how I feel right now. A bit disappointed. A bit happy that I made it as far as I did. And, ultimately, a bit relieved that everyone was friendly to me about it rather than giving me the cold shoulder for not bringing a casserole to the party.

…


Now, in retrospect, of my five jokes, I really liked "N-word" the least. I mean, c'mon, the writers titled the joke "N-word." I probably should've known from square one that an audience wasn't going to have it. While the joke wasn't racist, it's a subject that makes people uncomfortable. Furthermore, the set-up was complicated. It's a joke about a funeral for a word. That's confusing enough. Let alone making the audience think about what would be "uncomfortable" (or the original "awkward") about a eulogy for a funeral for a word.

It's a complicated joke. And the audience hated it.

But, to be honest, I'm glad it failed spectacularly rather than moderately. An F is better than a C-. If it had been "eh," and got cut, well, that would've been really, honestly disappointing. Seeing an amazing failure is something different. Something, well, actually kind of cool.



It was the junior prom.

At the same time, it's an interesting start. I've really only been writing / performing comedy for a year and a half. And to see that I could at least get appreciated by the writers of the show (to the extent of being given a shot) is a bit inspiring. Regardless of what happened tonight, it was interesting.

I got a joke to dress.

I put together a kid's wagon.

I found footage of an angry mob, met Jim Downey (and therefore Ann Coulter), and ate fudge cookies.


Therefore, I'll stop being self-indulgent now and politely ask, "How are you?"