Adopt an Unfunny Joke, Week of January 27th
Adopt an Unfunny Joke, Week of January 27th
Thousands of jokes get written every year. Over 95 percent of them get rejected and deleted. Can you find a place in your home for these terrible, unfunny, and generally moronic jokes?
I like to sit in my bathtub for a long time and let my hands soak. Then I jerk off. I call it an “oldie.”
My roommates’s Republican, but he tries to justify it by saying he’s a “liberal Republican.” Which I guess means he’s okay with abortion, but only when poor people get them.
Yo Momma so ugly, when the Trojans captured her, the Greeks were like – “good!”
Yo Momma so dumb, her geometry teacher told her to make an arc of 98 Degrees and she was like, “You want me to write fan-fiction about Nick Lachey?”
Mary was 14 when God impregnated her with Jesus. 14. That means when it comes time for the second coming of Christ, there’s going to be an Amber alert.
I sometimes ask people to come to comedy shows and they’re like, “I hate comedy.” How can someone hate comedy? I imagine it has to stem from some traumatic experience, like being raped by a comedian. I just imagine it like (act out rape with hand on back), “Yeah. Yeah, fucking take it. Sooo….where you from? President Bush is in the news. White people and black people certainly have humorous differences.”
I wish I was gay. My gay friends are all rich and have great jobs and are happy with their lives. It goes to show you. Behind every successful man is… well, I suppose another man.
I love my girlfriend more than anything. But, to be fair, I don’t really like a lot of stuff. It’s not a tough race she’s winning. She basically beat out Super Mario and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Thousands of jokes get written every year. Over 95 percent of them get rejected and deleted. Can you find a place in your home for these terrible, unfunny, and generally moronic jokes?
I like to sit in my bathtub for a long time and let my hands soak. Then I jerk off. I call it an “oldie.”
My roommates’s Republican, but he tries to justify it by saying he’s a “liberal Republican.” Which I guess means he’s okay with abortion, but only when poor people get them.
Yo Momma so ugly, when the Trojans captured her, the Greeks were like – “good!”
Yo Momma so dumb, her geometry teacher told her to make an arc of 98 Degrees and she was like, “You want me to write fan-fiction about Nick Lachey?”
Mary was 14 when God impregnated her with Jesus. 14. That means when it comes time for the second coming of Christ, there’s going to be an Amber alert.
I sometimes ask people to come to comedy shows and they’re like, “I hate comedy.” How can someone hate comedy? I imagine it has to stem from some traumatic experience, like being raped by a comedian. I just imagine it like (act out rape with hand on back), “Yeah. Yeah, fucking take it. Sooo….where you from? President Bush is in the news. White people and black people certainly have humorous differences.”
I wish I was gay. My gay friends are all rich and have great jobs and are happy with their lives. It goes to show you. Behind every successful man is… well, I suppose another man.
I love my girlfriend more than anything. But, to be fair, I don’t really like a lot of stuff. It’s not a tough race she’s winning. She basically beat out Super Mario and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
posted by Mike Drucker at
12:50 PM
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