Daily Warm-Up - A Ghost Story
Lisa: I hear you bought yourself a haunted house.
John Baxter: I just bought the house, not the ghost.
from: Amityville 3-D (1983)
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ACT 1
Bob: This is an abandoned house.
Betty: I am taking my shirt off because I also believe it is abandoned.
Bob: This painting of the house’s last resident is meaningless to me. I am spray painting over it despite the cold breeze and instinctive hesitation.
Betty: Let’s have sex. It is what teenagers like us do.
Bob: That is something we can both agree on.
ACT 2
Bob: Boy, sex is fun.
Betty: You’re a cocksucker and I’ll see you in hell.
Bob: Betty is acting highly unusual. She is also floating.
Betty: Eat shit you cunt.
Bob: My fears are confirmed: a ghost has possessed Betty.
ACT 3
Betty: Where are you? I’ll tear your dick off and suck out your soul.
Bob: That is not something I want!
Betty: I’ll fucking kill you.
Bob: But I am killing you first with the same sword that killed the owner of the ghost who is possessing you!
Betty: Bob!
Bob: You are back to normal.
Betty: I am also bleeding and dying.
Bob: This is regrettable.
Betty: I love you.
Bob: I also love you.
Betty: Death.
Bob: I feel sad. It is a good idea to walk out of this house.
EPILOGUE
Bob: I will never have sex in an abandoned house again.
Police Officer: Your story is quite unbelievable. I am taking you to jail.
John Baxter: I just bought the house, not the ghost.
from: Amityville 3-D (1983)
---
ACT 1
Bob: This is an abandoned house.
Betty: I am taking my shirt off because I also believe it is abandoned.
Bob: This painting of the house’s last resident is meaningless to me. I am spray painting over it despite the cold breeze and instinctive hesitation.
Betty: Let’s have sex. It is what teenagers like us do.
Bob: That is something we can both agree on.
ACT 2
Bob: Boy, sex is fun.
Betty: You’re a cocksucker and I’ll see you in hell.
Bob: Betty is acting highly unusual. She is also floating.
Betty: Eat shit you cunt.
Bob: My fears are confirmed: a ghost has possessed Betty.
ACT 3
Betty: Where are you? I’ll tear your dick off and suck out your soul.
Bob: That is not something I want!
Betty: I’ll fucking kill you.
Bob: But I am killing you first with the same sword that killed the owner of the ghost who is possessing you!
Betty: Bob!
Bob: You are back to normal.
Betty: I am also bleeding and dying.
Bob: This is regrettable.
Betty: I love you.
Bob: I also love you.
Betty: Death.
Bob: I feel sad. It is a good idea to walk out of this house.
EPILOGUE
Bob: I will never have sex in an abandoned house again.
Police Officer: Your story is quite unbelievable. I am taking you to jail.
posted by Mike Drucker at
10:02 AM
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