Daily Warm-Up
Stannie Dum: I've got a Christmas present for you.
Barnaby: A Christmas gift in the middle of July?
Stannie Dum: Well we always do our Christmas shopping early.
- Babes in Toyland (1934)
It was madness! Madness! The assistant manager was already dead with a pink cell phone burrowed into his forehead. Two clerks had broken legs from when they dared stand in front of the display. One cashier no longer had a left hand – more a gnarled mass of ground meat that sloshed plastic bags open. Where was God now? How could He let this happen? How could He let them create the perfect toy with seven different adorable phrases and eyes that blinked – just like a real baby's did! Were they fools at the toy company? Were they so arrogant as to believe their crime could have no consequences? They were the first to die – an "accident," claimed the toy company’s parent corporation. But the Keds used to beat them to death said something far more ominous: mothers. Only a lone manager was left unscathed in this store, encased in a plastic playhouse, defending himself with a metal baseball bat, knowing that the end would come soon. If only he didn't have to see the look in his wife’s eyes as she searched for that perfect gift.
Barnaby: A Christmas gift in the middle of July?
Stannie Dum: Well we always do our Christmas shopping early.
- Babes in Toyland (1934)
It was madness! Madness! The assistant manager was already dead with a pink cell phone burrowed into his forehead. Two clerks had broken legs from when they dared stand in front of the display. One cashier no longer had a left hand – more a gnarled mass of ground meat that sloshed plastic bags open. Where was God now? How could He let this happen? How could He let them create the perfect toy with seven different adorable phrases and eyes that blinked – just like a real baby's did! Were they fools at the toy company? Were they so arrogant as to believe their crime could have no consequences? They were the first to die – an "accident," claimed the toy company’s parent corporation. But the Keds used to beat them to death said something far more ominous: mothers. Only a lone manager was left unscathed in this store, encased in a plastic playhouse, defending himself with a metal baseball bat, knowing that the end would come soon. If only he didn't have to see the look in his wife’s eyes as she searched for that perfect gift.
posted by Mike Drucker at
6:33 AM
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