Monday Spam Sex Advice Blog
Happy Monday! Right? Right? Am I right? Am I? I don't know! Why won't anyone answer me? Oh God!
Telly Briscar writes,
"why not stand out from the crowd and enlarge your p*enis"
You're throwing a curve ball, here, Telly. Because, when it gets down to it, isn't the corporate media responsible for making men feel as if they need a large penis and women large breasts? But the corporate media doesn't want you to stand out from the crowd. Because that means that only one person is giving in to their consumer-based model of life. And by golly, if that were true, the others would see that man with a larger penis and go, "Hey! He's got a larger penis! And while he may be more easily identifiable in a crowd because of his engorged member, he's still in a crowd with us. He's not getting mad tang. And neither are we! We don't need you, corporate America! We'll not get laid with or without you!"
And that's when the riots begin. Is that what you want, Telly Briscar? The burden of the collapse of Western society? Your name spit on for generations because you dared challenge the phallic status quo? No. I don't think you do.
Marylou hgfhhhgf writes,
"Did you know that it's possible to enlarge your penis at home"
And at work, too. Rawr.
Addie Staton writes,
"ladies just aren't satisfied with little guys dicks anymore"
Addie, yes, that may be true. But here's the thing - it's an optical illusion. Men who are over six feet tall have the same average penis size as men who are under four feet tall. You just think that his big, strong, comfortable arms equate to a greater libido and correlating "equipment." But that's not true. While shorter men may be hairy, gnome-like caricatures of what humanity was meant to be, that doesn't mean they're any less feisty in the bedroom. In fact: more so.
Sandy Bunches writes,
"Hello, friend!
I have found a miracle cure for small dicks. Take this pill and all your romances are better. What reasons do you have to not give her a MegaDik?"
Actually, a lot, Sandy. Remember that episode of "Tales from the Crypt," where the two guys are playing poker and they keep sacrificing body parts so they could keep competing with each other and eventually they're both left with nothing but a few fingers and their legs and shit are all chopped off? That's what upgrading your penis is like. It's an arms war. And the end result is the mutual destruction of both parties.
Well, that's it for today. It's been a relatively somber episode of Monday's Spam Sex Advice Blog. And for that, I apologize. Regardless, keep the letters coming, bots!
Telly Briscar writes,
"why not stand out from the crowd and enlarge your p*enis"
You're throwing a curve ball, here, Telly. Because, when it gets down to it, isn't the corporate media responsible for making men feel as if they need a large penis and women large breasts? But the corporate media doesn't want you to stand out from the crowd. Because that means that only one person is giving in to their consumer-based model of life. And by golly, if that were true, the others would see that man with a larger penis and go, "Hey! He's got a larger penis! And while he may be more easily identifiable in a crowd because of his engorged member, he's still in a crowd with us. He's not getting mad tang. And neither are we! We don't need you, corporate America! We'll not get laid with or without you!"
And that's when the riots begin. Is that what you want, Telly Briscar? The burden of the collapse of Western society? Your name spit on for generations because you dared challenge the phallic status quo? No. I don't think you do.
Marylou hgfhhhgf writes,
"Did you know that it's possible to enlarge your penis at home"
And at work, too. Rawr.
Addie Staton writes,
"ladies just aren't satisfied with little guys dicks anymore"
Addie, yes, that may be true. But here's the thing - it's an optical illusion. Men who are over six feet tall have the same average penis size as men who are under four feet tall. You just think that his big, strong, comfortable arms equate to a greater libido and correlating "equipment." But that's not true. While shorter men may be hairy, gnome-like caricatures of what humanity was meant to be, that doesn't mean they're any less feisty in the bedroom. In fact: more so.
Sandy Bunches writes,
"Hello, friend!
I have found a miracle cure for small dicks. Take this pill and all your romances are better. What reasons do you have to not give her a MegaDik?"
Actually, a lot, Sandy. Remember that episode of "Tales from the Crypt," where the two guys are playing poker and they keep sacrificing body parts so they could keep competing with each other and eventually they're both left with nothing but a few fingers and their legs and shit are all chopped off? That's what upgrading your penis is like. It's an arms war. And the end result is the mutual destruction of both parties.
Well, that's it for today. It's been a relatively somber episode of Monday's Spam Sex Advice Blog. And for that, I apologize. Regardless, keep the letters coming, bots!
posted by Mike Drucker at
6:20 AM
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