What Global Warming Means to Me, by Mike Drucker Age 7
I saw this article and decided to write my own scholarship essay on why Global Warming isn't real.
And then I thought, instead of being sarcastic, I would have more fun writing it from the perspective of myself at 7 who probably believed global warming wasn't real, but ghosts were. Good times.
---
For many years, bad scientists have said that global warming is making the whole globe warmer. They say it is because of cars and aerosol spray that ice is melting. I think they are wrong. In the following paragraphs, I will explain why I think they are wrong.
First, ice has always melted. If you took ice from England in 1871, it would probably melt just as fast as ice today. Maybe slower because they did not have freezers back then and had to eat their ice-cream very quickly. Scientists say ice is melting faster because so many people have cars. But they are wrong because we can keep ice frozen even when it is not winter which is very new and did not happen a lot before in the past.
Secondly, if the planet is warming, there would be no more winters. This is a fact because winter is very cold. Last Christmas I got Donkey Kong Country for the Super Nintendo and it said it was from Santa. If there are no more winters, how was there a Christmas last year? If there is no winter, there is no Christmas. This does mean that because there was a Christmas, global warming is not real. This year I want a PlayStation.
Third, scientists say that if people drive the planet will get too hot. But people have been driving for years and years. My grandparents did not feel hot. If they did, they would not have complained. Maybe the planet is the same, but the scientists are spoiled and think they can get more air conditioning if they make cars feel bad.
In conclusion, global warming is not very real. Sometimes the planet is hot and sometimes it gets very cold. I think scientists should go to the beach. It might make them less hot and maybe they would hate cars less. Thank you.
And then I thought, instead of being sarcastic, I would have more fun writing it from the perspective of myself at 7 who probably believed global warming wasn't real, but ghosts were. Good times.
---
For many years, bad scientists have said that global warming is making the whole globe warmer. They say it is because of cars and aerosol spray that ice is melting. I think they are wrong. In the following paragraphs, I will explain why I think they are wrong.
First, ice has always melted. If you took ice from England in 1871, it would probably melt just as fast as ice today. Maybe slower because they did not have freezers back then and had to eat their ice-cream very quickly. Scientists say ice is melting faster because so many people have cars. But they are wrong because we can keep ice frozen even when it is not winter which is very new and did not happen a lot before in the past.
Secondly, if the planet is warming, there would be no more winters. This is a fact because winter is very cold. Last Christmas I got Donkey Kong Country for the Super Nintendo and it said it was from Santa. If there are no more winters, how was there a Christmas last year? If there is no winter, there is no Christmas. This does mean that because there was a Christmas, global warming is not real. This year I want a PlayStation.
Third, scientists say that if people drive the planet will get too hot. But people have been driving for years and years. My grandparents did not feel hot. If they did, they would not have complained. Maybe the planet is the same, but the scientists are spoiled and think they can get more air conditioning if they make cars feel bad.
In conclusion, global warming is not very real. Sometimes the planet is hot and sometimes it gets very cold. I think scientists should go to the beach. It might make them less hot and maybe they would hate cars less. Thank you.
posted by Mike Drucker at
2:41 PM
1 Comments:
I would be so much more successful if I had the innocent comedy heart you tuck away inside your bosom, Drucker ...
... tuck me inside your bosom ....
Ok, that's enough.
STOP IT! LEMME GO!
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home