The Police State Comic of 2240
Hey, citizens! Double plus-good it is Day Five! And you know what that equals: Day Six! Indeed! Does anyone have any Day Six plans?
I planned on requisitioning a mating sequence with a female in my day-pay’s Records and Filing Unit. But then when I went to request the right paperwork, there was a man in her designated area! I was like, “Greetings sir, do you know where Jane Smith is?” And he said, get this, “Jane Smith? I have been in this area since longer than not. I don’t even believe there is someone named Jane Smith in existence and it would be foolhardy to investigate further.” And then I said, “Investigate further? Why when it must be I who has a malfunctioning memory?”
Who hasn’t been in this situation? We must all have malfunctioning memories.
I think it has something to do with those crazy Oceanics. News Citizens on the Screen say they have been attempting to poison our water because they don’t respect our purity and that is why so many of our younger citizens are sick. I thought, “You don’t need to poison us to show you don’t respect our purity, one look at photos of you on the daily educational videos show that enough!”
Thank you.
No wonder their government lets them have voting booths – it’s their word for a restroom!
Which calls to my attention a related topic: what’s the deal with voting? They always say in their propaganda raids that we have been deprived of a “right.” But I will tell you what right we do have – the right Leader!
Thank you.
We have one Leader who is always with us and always protecting us. The Oceanics however have a different leader, like, every other decade. Has every Oceanic person been their leader already? I tried to check during last night’s mandatory summation, but I cannot tell the difference between them.
They look so alike, I bet they go into the booth and think they’re voting for themselves!
Part of me regrets – but not too much! – that we are doing so well in the war with Oceania because soon we will have to assimilate them into our culture. Oh boy! I for one cannot wait to have to teach a new neighbor how to shower or feed a newborn without sin. I’m joking, I’m joking. I am excited to welcome them into the correct way.
Well, I have said everything I need to say. Have an enjoyable Day Six and please do not forget to make your mandatory donation to the North American Self Defense Fund on your way out.
I planned on requisitioning a mating sequence with a female in my day-pay’s Records and Filing Unit. But then when I went to request the right paperwork, there was a man in her designated area! I was like, “Greetings sir, do you know where Jane Smith is?” And he said, get this, “Jane Smith? I have been in this area since longer than not. I don’t even believe there is someone named Jane Smith in existence and it would be foolhardy to investigate further.” And then I said, “Investigate further? Why when it must be I who has a malfunctioning memory?”
Who hasn’t been in this situation? We must all have malfunctioning memories.
I think it has something to do with those crazy Oceanics. News Citizens on the Screen say they have been attempting to poison our water because they don’t respect our purity and that is why so many of our younger citizens are sick. I thought, “You don’t need to poison us to show you don’t respect our purity, one look at photos of you on the daily educational videos show that enough!”
Thank you.
No wonder their government lets them have voting booths – it’s their word for a restroom!
Which calls to my attention a related topic: what’s the deal with voting? They always say in their propaganda raids that we have been deprived of a “right.” But I will tell you what right we do have – the right Leader!
Thank you.
We have one Leader who is always with us and always protecting us. The Oceanics however have a different leader, like, every other decade. Has every Oceanic person been their leader already? I tried to check during last night’s mandatory summation, but I cannot tell the difference between them.
They look so alike, I bet they go into the booth and think they’re voting for themselves!
Part of me regrets – but not too much! – that we are doing so well in the war with Oceania because soon we will have to assimilate them into our culture. Oh boy! I for one cannot wait to have to teach a new neighbor how to shower or feed a newborn without sin. I’m joking, I’m joking. I am excited to welcome them into the correct way.
Well, I have said everything I need to say. Have an enjoyable Day Six and please do not forget to make your mandatory donation to the North American Self Defense Fund on your way out.
posted by Mike Drucker at
1:59 PM
1 Comments:
Thank you.
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