I Won't Stay Fucked for Long, Johnny
Oh, boy, Johnny! The boss thinks he can fuck me like that? Well, let me tell you something, Johnny: I won't stay fucked for long. No sir. One day I'm going to walk into that office and say, "Mr. Watson, sir, please put your dick back in your pants. Better yet, please don't. Take off your pants, for you are to receive fucking now." Business, wise, of course.
Mr. Watson is married to a lovely lady and if you know me, Johnny, I only need one dick and that's my old boy The Fertile Crescent right here. But some day, Johnny, I'm going to write the best ad this ad firm has ever seen and the copy is going to speak to people and the creative is going to sing to them and they're going to buy those pills for whatever organ may be sagging at the moment and then who's going to be fucking whom, Johnny?
To answer my question, I will be the who. And Mr. Watson will be the whom. Let's see how he feels about being the object of a sentence for once, eh? Let's see how Mr. Watson feels about being fucked by a verb! And that verb is me who is also the noun at the beginning of the sentence. To revise, the noun is my brain and the transitive verb is my dick.
The definitive article in this sentence is the boss's asshole because that's where the meat hits the meat, old buddy. Here is the sentence: "I am fucking the Mr. Watson." You know why else there's a definitive article? Because he would hate that copy. He would scribble on that piece of shit sentence with his red pen. But let's see if a red pen can save him when I'm firing him with all the stocks I'm going to have when I stop getting fucked and start getting thanked. And, yes, Johnny, that "thank you" isn't going in the form of sarcasm after the company ruins my hair with its cum.
No, sir. That "thank you" is going to be honest and sincere because the firm wants so badly to go on a first date with me and I just agreed under the condition my friend comes along - you, Johnny - and there is no fucking involved in this date unless I do it and there is a safe word. And that safe word is, "I'm the big man here, the alpha male, and if someone wants to make an ad for a pill, they better ask Will first." No! That's not it! The safe word is, "I'm the big man here, the alpha and omega male, and if someone wants to make an ad for a pill, they better ask Mr. Finster first." Yes. That sounds quite nice as a safe word to cut sex I don't like short.
Mr. Watson is married to a lovely lady and if you know me, Johnny, I only need one dick and that's my old boy The Fertile Crescent right here. But some day, Johnny, I'm going to write the best ad this ad firm has ever seen and the copy is going to speak to people and the creative is going to sing to them and they're going to buy those pills for whatever organ may be sagging at the moment and then who's going to be fucking whom, Johnny?
To answer my question, I will be the who. And Mr. Watson will be the whom. Let's see how he feels about being the object of a sentence for once, eh? Let's see how Mr. Watson feels about being fucked by a verb! And that verb is me who is also the noun at the beginning of the sentence. To revise, the noun is my brain and the transitive verb is my dick.
The definitive article in this sentence is the boss's asshole because that's where the meat hits the meat, old buddy. Here is the sentence: "I am fucking the Mr. Watson." You know why else there's a definitive article? Because he would hate that copy. He would scribble on that piece of shit sentence with his red pen. But let's see if a red pen can save him when I'm firing him with all the stocks I'm going to have when I stop getting fucked and start getting thanked. And, yes, Johnny, that "thank you" isn't going in the form of sarcasm after the company ruins my hair with its cum.
No, sir. That "thank you" is going to be honest and sincere because the firm wants so badly to go on a first date with me and I just agreed under the condition my friend comes along - you, Johnny - and there is no fucking involved in this date unless I do it and there is a safe word. And that safe word is, "I'm the big man here, the alpha male, and if someone wants to make an ad for a pill, they better ask Will first." No! That's not it! The safe word is, "I'm the big man here, the alpha and omega male, and if someone wants to make an ad for a pill, they better ask Mr. Finster first." Yes. That sounds quite nice as a safe word to cut sex I don't like short.
posted by Mike Drucker at
11:35 PM
1 Comments:
"The definitive article in this sentence is the boss's asshole because that's where the meat hits the meat, old buddy."
Fantastic.
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