New Orleans Comedy Arts Festival - Day 1
Who the hell wrote X-Men 3? I mean, the first two X-Men films weren't perfect by any means, but the entire movie sounds as if it were written by a twelve-year-old. “I don't need to be a psychic to know that you're upset.” Jesus. Superhero films are always written as if superheroes just talk about their own powers. In reality, superheroes would talk about the powers of other heroes and the drama that had occurred in super groups. They'd mistake little mistakes for terrible social slights and begin hating each other over time.
That's on in the background.
Oh snap this lionfish funna gets you shit poisoned, son.
The first official day of the NOCAF has come and gone. Well, I may add. Today we went to the Aquarium and saw an IMAX film about prehistoric sea monsters. How was it, you ask? In 3D, is my reply. In three motherfucking dimensions of sight and sound. There were Jellyfish in the aquarium. Why did I capitalized “Jellyfish?” Because they're better than you and exist in a branch of evolution that amazes me.
Ross Hyzer and Danny Solomon also shot my part of the documentary about embarassing jokes in front of the Holocaust memorial. I think my joke was pretty good – at the very least, it's bearably short. They might need to reshoot it because of the background noise such as steamers on the river and a police officer on a golf cart who kept checking us out to see whether or not he should ask for our permit.
My goddamn elbow was constantly in the way.
Okay.
After that, we waited for Neal Statsny to pick us up on Canal street – a problem because a production company was working on an action film and routinely shutting off intersections to shoot a scene in which a streetcar pushes a sports car while an action hero grapples on the side. We saw it shot twice.
The first show itself went well. Recounting a play-by-play would not do it justice. Although I must note that Roger Hailes' interesting substitution for another comedian was altogether hilarious and Adam Newman did a wonderful job of opening the entire festival. Sean Patton's parents – capable of breeding children who are either unbelievably hilarious or pursue advanced degrees in physics – made us a delicious meal.
Tomorrow I perform. So far this has been great. We also get free PBRs because they're co-sponsoring the festival. If you drink a lot, that's a wonderful thing. If you don't, there's also free bottled water. I tipped after getting a free beer and the bartender / club owner responded in surprise. Are not such things customary? I believe so.
Notes:
Sean O'Connor has a very distinct laugh.
Sam Brown already knew my Xbox Live tag, which is oddly flattering.
Jean Grey is the only class five mutant I have ever encountered meaning her potential is nearly oh Jesus I was trained as a Shakespearean actor and I'm actually speaking this shit aloud as if I thought it was a good idea to do so this is probably career suicide and I wish someone would have told me that taking a part on some Star Trek show would lead me to become a semi-respected voice actor and science fiction star and maybe then I would have said, no Patrick, no, just stick with the theatre and everything will be alright oh God I'm being told to speak this by the guy who thought it would be funny if a Def Jam comic didn't understand what a Chinese man was saying about a kidnapping situation.
That's on in the background.
Oh snap this lionfish funna gets you shit poisoned, son.
The first official day of the NOCAF has come and gone. Well, I may add. Today we went to the Aquarium and saw an IMAX film about prehistoric sea monsters. How was it, you ask? In 3D, is my reply. In three motherfucking dimensions of sight and sound. There were Jellyfish in the aquarium. Why did I capitalized “Jellyfish?” Because they're better than you and exist in a branch of evolution that amazes me.
Ross Hyzer and Danny Solomon also shot my part of the documentary about embarassing jokes in front of the Holocaust memorial. I think my joke was pretty good – at the very least, it's bearably short. They might need to reshoot it because of the background noise such as steamers on the river and a police officer on a golf cart who kept checking us out to see whether or not he should ask for our permit.
My goddamn elbow was constantly in the way.
After that, we waited for Neal Statsny to pick us up on Canal street – a problem because a production company was working on an action film and routinely shutting off intersections to shoot a scene in which a streetcar pushes a sports car while an action hero grapples on the side. We saw it shot twice.
The first show itself went well. Recounting a play-by-play would not do it justice. Although I must note that Roger Hailes' interesting substitution for another comedian was altogether hilarious and Adam Newman did a wonderful job of opening the entire festival. Sean Patton's parents – capable of breeding children who are either unbelievably hilarious or pursue advanced degrees in physics – made us a delicious meal.
Tomorrow I perform. So far this has been great. We also get free PBRs because they're co-sponsoring the festival. If you drink a lot, that's a wonderful thing. If you don't, there's also free bottled water. I tipped after getting a free beer and the bartender / club owner responded in surprise. Are not such things customary? I believe so.
Notes:
Sean O'Connor has a very distinct laugh.
Sam Brown already knew my Xbox Live tag, which is oddly flattering.
Jean Grey is the only class five mutant I have ever encountered meaning her potential is nearly oh Jesus I was trained as a Shakespearean actor and I'm actually speaking this shit aloud as if I thought it was a good idea to do so this is probably career suicide and I wish someone would have told me that taking a part on some Star Trek show would lead me to become a semi-respected voice actor and science fiction star and maybe then I would have said, no Patrick, no, just stick with the theatre and everything will be alright oh God I'm being told to speak this by the guy who thought it would be funny if a Def Jam comic didn't understand what a Chinese man was saying about a kidnapping situation.
posted by Mike Drucker at
9:48 PM
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