New Orleans Comedy Festival – Day 2
Mark Normand, Sean O'Connor, and Sean Patton rocked the festival tonight, along with all the others. I got on stage and modestly did jokes. Did you know Amazon.com is funny? I did. Hack! Go back to Florida, jerk-off! Boo! Boo! No one wants your kind here, fatty! What's the deal with bad comedians? They get all up in our city and bring tears and the gnashing of teeth to our fair city. This guy knows what I'm talking about, because this guy is Mike Drucker and he is the example of what we're saying in this previous bit.
This is what bombing looks like as a still photo.
It's also what killing looks like.
Which did I do?
That's up to your imagination!
I did alright, if I do say so myself.
Today's big event, however, was going to the Asian Super Buffet. It's right next door to the Golden Corral Buffet and, I must say, the Golden Corral Buffet is shitting its pants. Nerds! The Asian Super Buffet lives up to each fucking word in its name. It's Asian (the waitress are all genuine Asian women, the food resembles fried dumplings and sushi, and the music is probably Chinese pop-music). It's Super (delicious!). And it's a Buffet (all you can eat in a rowed manner of which there is no healthy food).
We consisted of Ross Hyzer, his girlfriend Celine, Danny Solomon, my new friend Dane, Zach “The Greatest Generation” Sims, and Mark Normand.
After that, we reshot my segment for the documentary at the Holocaust memorial. I would say that I was pretty funny on camera.
It was Danny Solomon's birthday, so we got him some hand grenade drinks.
A lot of the drinking portions of New Orleans resemble to me a weird version of Disney's “Main Street U.S.A.” It's beautiful and fun to walk down, but every window says “Ice-Cream!” instead of “Food” or “Mail” or “Hospital” as most actual Main Streets have.
I also thought this: I would much, much, much enjoy any city known for its deserts rather than its alcoholic drinks. Anyone who tells me an alcoholic drink is better than a nice cake is either lying or, no, just lying. Don't lie to me. Please. There's enough suffering in the world already without you telling me that cake isn't what would be perfect right now.
Then again, historically it should probably be the other way around since Walt Disney World came at least fifteen years after New Orleans was founded by Christopher Columbus on his way to Atlantis.
I'm so tired, guys. I'm so tired.
This is what bombing looks like as a still photo.
It's also what killing looks like.
Which did I do?
That's up to your imagination!
I did alright, if I do say so myself.
Today's big event, however, was going to the Asian Super Buffet. It's right next door to the Golden Corral Buffet and, I must say, the Golden Corral Buffet is shitting its pants. Nerds! The Asian Super Buffet lives up to each fucking word in its name. It's Asian (the waitress are all genuine Asian women, the food resembles fried dumplings and sushi, and the music is probably Chinese pop-music). It's Super (delicious!). And it's a Buffet (all you can eat in a rowed manner of which there is no healthy food).
We consisted of Ross Hyzer, his girlfriend Celine, Danny Solomon, my new friend Dane, Zach “The Greatest Generation” Sims, and Mark Normand.
After that, we reshot my segment for the documentary at the Holocaust memorial. I would say that I was pretty funny on camera.
It was Danny Solomon's birthday, so we got him some hand grenade drinks.
A lot of the drinking portions of New Orleans resemble to me a weird version of Disney's “Main Street U.S.A.” It's beautiful and fun to walk down, but every window says “Ice-Cream!” instead of “Food” or “Mail” or “Hospital” as most actual Main Streets have.
I also thought this: I would much, much, much enjoy any city known for its deserts rather than its alcoholic drinks. Anyone who tells me an alcoholic drink is better than a nice cake is either lying or, no, just lying. Don't lie to me. Please. There's enough suffering in the world already without you telling me that cake isn't what would be perfect right now.
Then again, historically it should probably be the other way around since Walt Disney World came at least fifteen years after New Orleans was founded by Christopher Columbus on his way to Atlantis.
I'm so tired, guys. I'm so tired.
posted by Mike Drucker at
10:46 PM
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