How To Embarass Yourself At A Comedy Club
Here's how you embarrass yourself at a comedy club:
1. Have an okay set. Not great, but not nearly terrible. Just okay enough to be considered a comedian and just bad enough to not be highly regarded.
2. Not know what to do around another comedian's baby. If they change the diaper in front of you backstage, and you say, “I'm not sure if you want me to leave or not because that baby's naked,” to wowed silence, that works too.
3. When the waiter's in the greenroom taking everyone's beer order, say, “No, thanks, but this Peppermint Patty drink sounds delicious!” Pause long. Look around. Explain that you like sweet drinks.
4. Coo and narrate everything the baby's doing. Stop when the comedians start staring at you.
5. Don't know there's no 10:30 show. So keep asking people about it. Just keep asking when we're starting the next show. Are we starting on time? Take it as people mock you for not reading the schedule right.
6. Have no knowledge about the local taxi system. Ask if they recommend anything. Emphasize "anything." Look helpless.
7. Explain you don't have a driver's license.
8. Say you know it's not scary to drive.
9. Admit being scared to drive.
10. When you say good bye to everyone, be sure to say goodbye to the baby and, after a pause, say, “Well, I'll take that as a goodbye from you, too!”
Bonus: On the plus side, I was offered and took a drive to my hotel from Brian Kim and Traci Skene of SheckyMagazine, which was really neat. I kept telling them I was a fan. Brian also said very nice things about my robot comedy piece, which was really nice. They were very neat people and it was nice to meet the people who had helped pushed me along with their blog.
1. Have an okay set. Not great, but not nearly terrible. Just okay enough to be considered a comedian and just bad enough to not be highly regarded.
2. Not know what to do around another comedian's baby. If they change the diaper in front of you backstage, and you say, “I'm not sure if you want me to leave or not because that baby's naked,” to wowed silence, that works too.
3. When the waiter's in the greenroom taking everyone's beer order, say, “No, thanks, but this Peppermint Patty drink sounds delicious!” Pause long. Look around. Explain that you like sweet drinks.
4. Coo and narrate everything the baby's doing. Stop when the comedians start staring at you.
5. Don't know there's no 10:30 show. So keep asking people about it. Just keep asking when we're starting the next show. Are we starting on time? Take it as people mock you for not reading the schedule right.
6. Have no knowledge about the local taxi system. Ask if they recommend anything. Emphasize "anything." Look helpless.
7. Explain you don't have a driver's license.
8. Say you know it's not scary to drive.
9. Admit being scared to drive.
10. When you say good bye to everyone, be sure to say goodbye to the baby and, after a pause, say, “Well, I'll take that as a goodbye from you, too!”
Bonus: On the plus side, I was offered and took a drive to my hotel from Brian Kim and Traci Skene of SheckyMagazine, which was really neat. I kept telling them I was a fan. Brian also said very nice things about my robot comedy piece, which was really nice. They were very neat people and it was nice to meet the people who had helped pushed me along with their blog.
posted by Mike Drucker at
8:14 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home