I saw Dave Chappelle live once. And he said that there was something called "cosmic comedy," when a comedian does something more hilarious than what's actually happening on stage. Whether through accident or on purpose, it's the creation of a moment that transcends the stand-up comedy joke and becomes an event.
Mark Normand didn't want that to happen last night. But it was so good.
Let me back up. Mark Normand and I played Bard College last night. And it was fantastic.
It was one of those shows where you walk out of the room with a big check and you go, "Did they just pay me to goof off for half an hour? Jeez." And you hope no one's catching up with you.
Bard College also has the advantage of having the most beautiful and most nerdy college girls I've ever met. Yowza. When comely young ladies applaud your joke about Paladins and Imperialism, you swoon. You do. You swoon.
And then there was the story of the Tivoli Bay Rapist.
Apparently, ten years ago, someone raped someone in the neighboring town of Tivoli. The rapist was never caught, but students at Bard are warned every year that a heavy-set man with a goatee (the police sketch indicates) once raped somebody and was never caught.
We were told this on the drive up because it's a long drive and Mark asked "How's crime here?"
Anyway.
As Mark and I waited for the show to start, we saw a heavy-set man with a goatee. We thought he was a student because he was wearing big headphones and carrying around a laptop. It turns out he was the janitor - he rests his laptop on the trash cart and surfs the Internet as he cleans.
Clearly the Tivoli Bay Rapist, said Mark.
I agreed and laughed heartily.
So we kept joking about it. But here's the thing:
the dude kept following us around the school. Before the show, we were standing in the lobby of the building and the guy was staring at us through the glass window. I mean motherfucking
staring. Death eyes.
He knew we knew. The outsiders had solved the case that Cliff and the campus police couldn't.
We kept averting our eyes so we wouldn't have to face him down.
As the show started, I told Mark I was jealous he was going first because he could bring up the Tivoli Bay Rapist and janitor thing before I could.
So the show starts. The two guys open and really warm up the crowd - everyone's having a great time. Mark gets brought on stage to a huge applause. Everyone loves a handsome man.
But as he gets on stage, I see the janitor walk into the wings of the stage and begin watching Mark's set. Just staring at Mark.
And Mark goes into his Tivoli Bay Rapist bit, about how it's the janitor. Has anyone seen that dude? He looks
just like the sketch of the Tivoli Bay Rapist.
The crowd goes
silent. Because they've seen him standing in the wings staring at Mark.
Now, I can't contain myself. I'm giggling and giddy and jumping up and down. This is a Christmas morning miracle for me.
And Mark's face undergoes this transformation as he realizes he's being watched by the janitor he's calling the school's most feared rapist:
It was so good! Oh God.
The audience went nuts. I went nuts.
The janitor gave a creepy laugh and left.
Mark reacted like a king and had an awesome set.
When I got up, I spent my first two minutes of my half-hour or so just talking about how delighted I was to see that happen. I couldn't stop smiling. Mark's a great friend of mine, so I know it's something I'll bring up for years to come.
It's special. It's cosmic comedy.
