Ninth Best Day Of My Life

Today has been an awesome day. Maybe ninth best in my life.

I woke up and brushed off terrible nightmares involving some sort of wall-eating machine that I got stuck in and was crunching my bones. It was a bad dream. I woke up - my arms and legs had not been severed which was really something. It was a good feeling.

I had cleaned my apartment the night before, so I didn't feel nasty getting out of bed or passing through / by the kitchen.

Then I checked my email and I've been asked by Comedy Central to perform on their live show at Crash Mansion this Monday.

The sent me that image and said I could use it to promote the show. I'm doing a show for Comedy Central!

I'm so excited. With The Onion and now Comedy Central, I'm really completing a lot of goals that I've had since I was seven or eight. I've never really been into anything but video games and comedy, and working and participating in both industries has been quite pleasant.

I went to work after that and Bill Hader grabbed me. We share the same favorite author - Neil Gaiman. Anyway, Bill and Neil Gaiman are now friends and Bill had opened for him during a reading tour. And Neil sent Bill a set of signed copies of his new book and Bill gave me one. Because we talk about Gaiman a lot.

This day has fucking rocked. Tonight I'm doing a show at Sound Fix with Anthony Jeselnik, who was a comedian I liked on Premium Blend long before I did comedy. There are also a lot of other great people on it as well.

Despite all the depression, all the self-hatred, all the idiotic moves and stupidity, you get a few good shining moments when it's all worth it. Today's been one of those days.

After You Leave Silent Hill, How About Locking the Door Behind You?

I used to be a big fan of Silent Hill. The type of big nerd for the series that's played by some b-list former TV star in a Judd Apatow film. But reading the new preview for Silent Hill: Homecoming isn't keeping my excitement up. The series just isn't scary anymore.

Mr. Potter? I reconsidered, and George Bailey is your man! Mr. Potter?

First of all, the mystery of the first few games is gone. We know what's going to happen. A guy wanders in looking for his wife or he lost his wallet or something. And then - whoa! Zombie Boob Nurses!

At first the whole busty dead lady thing was creepy. Now it comes off as somewhat cheesy. And here's the other problem the series has run into: if there weren't any Nurse Zombie Boobs, the fans would be livid. The Boob Zombie Nurse is now one of the highlights of the series. As is Pyramid Head, whose photo I'm not going to show because someone might Cosplay it for the thirtieth fucking time.

When horror films devolve into fan service, you lose all fright. Horror involves not knowing what's coming next. That's why it's creepy and scary. If you know what's around the corner, it may be macabre, or it may be "disturbing," but it isn't particularly scary or tense.

I mean, if you saw the movie of Silent Hill and hadn't played the game, you might've seen a weird hodge-podge of creatures that made no sense together. Well, in the first three games, the creatures made sense. But after that, in the games and the movie, Konami decided to just toss as many fuckers together as they could in hopes of selling XXL t-shirts and fifty-dollar action figures.

You know what would blow my mind in a Silent Hill game? If some lonely guy went to the city in search of his lost brother or something and just had a really pleasant time. Like he met a cute waitress who understood what he was going through and they got to know each other and hung out at the lake with no strings attached. And he just really had a cool, relaxing time. And he didn't find his brother, but he did find something just as important: friendship.

That would blow my mind to next week.